Wishing death to fashioncore since 2005

Archive for April, 2011

Ways to make sport more interesting

Ways to make sport more interesting – what would you do?

I’ve been thinking about ways to inject some new life into sports,  here’s what I’ve got so far:

1 – Football – Give each footballer a violin, insist it’s played at all times whilst on the pitch. Under 16’s have kazoos instead.

2 – F1 Racing – Two-thirds into the race, take away the cars, make them run round.

3 – Golf – Re-locate the holes, but don’t tell the golfers where they are – they still have to continue putting regardless.

4 – Darts – Create a new rule which states it can only be played in zero gravity.

5 – Boxing – Put squeakers in the gloves.

6 – Wrestling – Replace the ring with a bouncy castle.

7 – Football – Mount catapults on each corner,  to replace corner kicks.

8 – F1 Racing – Replace the cars with shopping trolleys. Wobbly shopping trolleys.

9 – Athletic running – Give each runner a Nerf gun or water pistol, to be used against fellow runners.

10 – Hunting – Take away the horses, replace their guns with water pistols and cover each hunter in gravy. Now let’s see how much fun they have in the woodland….

11 – Hockey/rugby/football – Replace the ‘sin bin’ with a lion cage.

12 – Football again – Above the goal, have a platform on top of which stands a giant Nerf/tennis ball cannon, a la Gladiators.

13 – Snooker – Have Sid Waddell provide commentary, audible to the players.

14 – Cricket – ……erm……lost cause? Give them a pack of cards instead. Poker is easier to understand.

Could this help to make football more interesting? Imagine seeing this above the goal posts....



Former Interlock members return with a new sound.


Following the deactivation of London-based industrial act Interlock, frontman Hal Sinden and drummer Joe Butterworth immediately began recording new material, this time taking their music into a new, more progressively-minded direction. Eventually hooking up with Mark Duffy and Ewan Parry (the guitarist also responsible for the famed ‘Death Metal Rooster’ video on YouTube), the first fruits of their labour was the critically acclaimed 3-track EP ‘Reason & Abstract’, available on Eulogy Media. Following a handful of live dates, and being voted Top 3rd Unsigned Act of 2010 in Terrorizer Magazine, the band set about recording their debut album – ‘The Waspkeeper’, featuring eleven tracks of gothic/progessive death metal, inspired by the likes of fellow UK metal act Akercocke (whose frontman Jason Mendonca contributes guest vocals on one track, as does JD Quintus from Meads of Asphodel, and From Great Height’s frontman Adam Ever) and goth legends Fields Of the Nephilim. With a forward-thinking expansive sound, equal parts melody and brutality, and refinement in both sound and image, you can expect to hear more from Talanas in coming months.

‘The Waspkeeper’ is set for release on April 30th, at a launch party being held at The London Stone Pub in Cannon Street, and is available on pre-release from http://www.talanas.org/.


Hal Sinden – vocals, guitar
Ewan Parry – guitar
Mark ‘Duff’ Duffy – bass
Joe Butterworth – drums

Genre: Gothic/progressive death metal

For fans of: Opeth, Morbid Angel, Interlock, latter-period Cradle Of Filth, Tool, Tesseract

‘Diaphora’, from the EP ‘Reason & Abstract’

‘Antiphon’, the first video from the forthcoming debut album ‘The Waspkeeper’ (released 30th April)



Talanas CD launch, 30th April

Sh*t people say

It’s a funny old language isn’t it? Ever stop to think about the things we say? Such as……

“Well wouldn’t you like to know” – Well yes, that’s kinda why we ask…..

“That’s for me to know and you to find out” – Well that’s where you come in, genius.

“Ah, that would be telling” – Yes, that would be telling, THAT’S WHY WE FRIGGING WELL ASK!!! We ask, you tell, that’s how a conversation works….*sigh*

“Believe you me” – Erm, what? Want to say that again with the words the right way round?

“Basic fail” – Ok, someone help me out here – when people say this, are they being ironic? Is it a joke I’m not getting? Has grammar been thrown out the window?

“Bare jokes” – 😦 . At some stage, “bare” suddenly became another word for “more”………yeah.

“At the end of the day” – Slightly OT, but anyway…..Used to use this regularly (it’s a metaphor that works – I occasionally speak in metaphor. You may have noticed.), but now thanks to a certain J.Kyle’s programme, I try (and sometimes fail) to avoid it. They’ve turned it into a cliched term, which bugs me.

Random thoughts – How long is a donkey’s year?  Why exactly is Nora flaming? Who first put Christ on a bike? Just what time do the cows come home?

Scream!Shout!SayNothing! record new track for charity


Local post-hardcore act Scream!Shout!SayNothing! (featuring members of Frog Stupid, Spandex Ballet, Arms & The Man, The Waterfront, among others) have recorded a special version of ‘Conductor, Conduct’ to help raise money for The British Red Cross and their Japan Tsunami Appeal. It’s available on a ‘Pay What You Like’ basis, from this link here.


Also included is an mp3 of the track ‘But Sir, I’m The King’, taken from their S!S!SN!’s first album, available on Scylla Records. The original version of ‘Conductor, Conduct’ is set for inclusion on their forthcoming second album.

For fans of Thrice, Alexisonfire and Hell Is For Heroes.