What if Football was more like WWE?
Earlier this year, there was a rumour that WWE’s owner Vince McMahon was interested in buying the English football team Newcastle United. Whilst I’m still not certain how accurate this was, the thought occurred to me – what if Football was more like American wrestling?
Here are some ideas that could be transferred over:
– New costumes to replace their regular kits – entering the stadium with Ultimate Warrrior’s facepaint, Legion Of Doom-style shoulderpads or Golddust’s outfit would be an interesting way of adding more colour. I personally wouldn’t complain if one team dressed as The Headbangers, but then I would say that….Or The Hart Foundation, they were snappy dressers.
– More dramatic entrances – entering with Kane’s pyrotechnics along with The Undertaker’s entrance theme, that would intimidate the opposing team, right? ‘Bushwhacking’ optional.
– They perform all pre- and post-game interviews in the style of Rowdy Roddy Piper. Catchphrases to be encouraged, with use of “At the end of the day….” to be banned.
– Jerry Lawler (Jim Ross has been suggested too) to commentate. I personally think that Lawler is the funniest commentator they’ve ever had, and the current Lawler/Michael Cole/JBL team seems to work well.
– Matches in cages, or surrounded by fire.
– How about some run-ins? McMahon runs in dressed in a ref’s shirt, or members from the sub bench or even other teams get involved when the ref’s not looking, with a second/third ball, just to confuse matters.
– Anyone caught faking a dive/exaggerating an injury actually gets whacked with a chair.
– Blindfold matches. Strap matches could be fun too – imagine each player strapped to another from the opposing team.
– ‘Goals count anywhere’ matches; match boundaries are limitless, with a ‘jumpers for goalposts’ rule coming into play, depending on how far they get outside the arena. Ref to be supplied with a Segway, for the hell of it.
You’d potentially end up with a match of one team in Demolition’s attire, against a team of Doinks. One holding with a large snake, the other with parrots. Possibly.
My thanks to my Facebook friends for a couple of their suggestions.