Wishing death to fashioncore since 2005

One-line movie reviews

I may have cheated a little bit….

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Recently, I set myself a challenge: write as many movie reviews as possible, using just one line. How well do you think I’ve done?

* SPOILER ALERT: he wins in the end – Rocky II-V

* It stars a French Scotsman and a Scottish Spaniard, and they can’t die because they’re really aliens – Highlander 1-2

* A dystopian future where policemen now come in tins – Robocop 1-3

* How to thwart an alien invasion using their own USB ports, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air – Independence Day

* It’s ok, the dog actually survives (seriously though, who could you make a film where the dog dies??), you’re safe with this one – K9

* Nope, not falling for that! – Marley & Me

* This film is just a figment of your imagination and doesn’t actually exist; in the words of Tasha Yar, “It didn’t happen!” – Star Trek: Nemesis

* It’s got past the stage where it might be seen as tragic; he’s just being plain clumsy with his family now – Taken 3

* Seagal’s often clumsy with his famiy too – Any Seagal film.

* Can we watch Bill & Ted instead? – The Matrix

* Still waiting for that third Bill & Ted – The Matrix 2

* Bill & Ted…. just putting it out there – The Matrix 3

* Worst episode of Come Dine With Me ever – Red Dragon

* Did you know that if you watch the whole saga backwards, it becomes the heartwarming tale of an evil cyborg’s quest to become a real human boy? – The Star Wars series

* Know what makes me mad? Lack of closure. – Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome

* Worst episode of Deal Or No Deal ever – Se7en

* Man solves evil Rubix Cube, gets worst facial piercings ever – Hellraiser

* Would’ve been better off with a Teddy Ruxbin, just saying – Child’s Play

* Although, if you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Charlie Sheen possessed Teddy Ruxbin…. – Ted

* Nine hours of proof that Gandalf doesn’t know any flight or teleportations spells – Lord Of The Rings

* They’ve managed to cross Independence Day with Wreck-It Ralph? – Pixels

* Imagine if after Home Alone, Kevin goes into Witness Protection with a new name, but grows into a bitter man with a more twisted imagination and thirst for vengeance – SAW

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