Worst. Survey. Ever.
A day in the life of two market researchers
Upon seeing the above sentence, my first thought was, who the hell worked that out? Here’s how it might have gone….
9:00am – “Good morning sir. Here, please wipe your backside with this sheet, then this one, and tell us which you think is softer.”
9:30am – “Erm, no you can keep that. Thanks.”
10:00am – “What? Oh sorry, we’re told we’ll get a cubicle next time. Yes, this aisle is rather draughty isn’t it.”
11:00am – “Hello, Customer Services? Who moved the Wet Floor sign? Well, we’ll need another. Yes, it’s happened again.”
12:00pm – “How many of these can your fit up your shirt, Robert?”
1:00pm – “We could’ve built a fort, Karen….”
2:00pm – “Baby wipes are on aisle 12, madam. Yes I know, I’m burning this shirt when I get home.”
3:00pm – “Could’ve asked us to do a vodka survey, but no, we…. What have you got in that flask? Oooh….”
4:00pm – “What even is my life…. No not you madam sorry, I was just muttering to myself….”
4:15pm – “Oh were we supposed to be counting? Let’s just round up to the nearest whole 100….”
4:30pm – “Might fake my death tomorrow. Oh, you too? Race you.”
5:00pm – “I underestimated how long it’d take for that fire engine to get here.”